Secretly Trying to Conceive Another Baby


If you have decided to become pregnant, there are many reasons that you may be trying to keep your adventure a secret. Many people do not begin telling people about their future addition to their family until after they have passed the first trimester. One of the main reasons for the secrecy is because the chance of miscarriage greatly decreases after the first trimester.

If you have had miscarriages in the past, the pain of dealing with others asking questions or discussing your problems may be more than you can bear. For this reason waiting to tell most people may be preferable.

1 Surprise!

Another reason that some people may wait to inform others that they are trying for another baby is that they want to surprise family and loved ones with the good news. It is exciting to learn that you are going to be a new grandparent, aunt, uncle, and so forth, and some couples find it fun to surprise their loved ones of this fantastic news after they are already pregnant.


2 Dealing with struggles

You may also find that you are having trouble getting pregnant in the first place. Since you already have children, some people may be critical of your efforts when trying to have another child. Many couples will find this disheartening, while they are trying, so it may be best to keep your journey a secret.


Some people may not understand that trying to have another baby and finding that there are issues can greatly upset a couple. In these circumstances, they may unknowingly offer advice or make comments that are very hurtful. In order to avoid these feelings, it may be best to keep your efforts between yourselves for the time being.

3 Don’t tell the kids!

Most parents also decide to keep their efforts a secret from their children until they find out that they are pregnant. Kids will not understand what it means to be “trying to have another baby”, to it is best to keep your efforts a secret from your kids. If you find that you are no longer able to have a baby, this may be difficult to explain if you have already told your kids that they will be having a new sibling soon.


4 Tell your partner!

There are some circumstances in which you should not keep your efforts a secret. For example, it is never alright to try to get pregnant without the knowledge of your partner. Although accidents do happen, having a child is a big commitment and you should never force anyone into this responsibility. If you have a choice, you should discuss getting pregnant with your partner before you begin trying.


Even if you think that your partner would welcome a new addition with open arms, you need to discuss your decision with him. By hiding this information from your partner, you are setting yourself up for some very difficult emotions and the possibility that your partner will have harsh feelings towards you and your unborn child. The only emotions that you should deal with while you are pregnant are those of jubilation and excitement.

5 Miscarriage Fears

Trying to hide the fact that you are trying to get pregnant is very common for many couples, especially those who are concerned about having a miscarriage. While eventually you will have to share the news with others, keeping the fact that you are trying to get pregnant is completely acceptable. There are some things that you may want to keep between you as a couple and trying to get pregnant is one of those things.


6 Share with your doctor

You should, however, inform your doctor that you are trying to conceive, especially if you have certain medical conditions. There may be times when additional medication or vitamins are required for a healthy pregnancy and you may need to have an examination to make sure that your body is healthy. Generally, getting pregnant without the help of your doctor is easy and natural, but in some circumstances your doctor should be aware of your efforts.


Trying to have a child is an exciting time in a couple’s life, whether it is baby number one, or if you already have a few running around at home. Choosing to keep your decision a secret is completely up to you and you should never feel pressuredinto telling family members or friends that you are trying to have another child. Keep it between yourself and have fun trying!

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Ms. Wisniewski has over 15 years experience as a labor and delivery nurse, having also worked previously as a nurse midwife in the Philippines and India. She enjoys empowering women and providing family centered care to women from all cultural and educational backgrounds.

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